Title & Author: The Anatomy of Jane, by Amelia LeFay

Type: Erotica, mild BDSM, m/f/m

Summary:  In an interesting Pretty Woman sort of makeover, orphan Jane quits her managerial position at a low-life nightclub to become a maid and then the fiancée/shared boy toy of two exhaustively handsome, wealthy, fit, accomplished, important men–of course. She is also beautiful; the author tells us so, with that exact word, many times.

Steam Factors

Cover & Title:  4-volcanoes

The title is refreshing, although I did begin with a hidden sort of hope that those two handsome gentlemen on the cover were actually going to create their own Franken-toy. Still, so many titles are generic/boring/over-used/*yawn*; this was a wonderful change.

Grammar/Mechanics:  2-volcanoes

Without even trying, I found a total of 25 typos; improper verb tense; omitted words; and other mechanical issues. Twenty-five is a lot in this glorious day and age of spellcheck, which would have cured about half of these.

There is also a lot of repeated word use very close together, such as, “He nodded” immediately followed by, “She nodded.” It gets extremely tiresome reading the same identical expressions over and over, like the author’s lexicon of English words simply isn’t big enough to encompass more than one way of saying something. (Try counting how many times different characters have a ‘fat ass grin’. Hint: It’s about five times too many.) 

Also, please for the love of all that is holy do a word count for how many times “snickered” is used and get thee to a thesaurus. 

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Content/Reality Check: 3-volcanoes

I really liked the main character; she has a specific skill set and a personality. I liked that the housecleaning job felt real, not just the Hollywood pretty princess version of “Let me knock some dust off that and then daydream into my broom.”

But…the character also said that $10 is so important because it means she can buy bread, milk, and eggs. I say, good luck with that: milk or bread is roughly $5 dollars each; no way you’re getting all three for a single Abe Lincoln.

When Jane decides to commit to the relationship, I also liked the preparation details that were included. I’m very skeptical of the usual trope “he took her by surprise”. I tend to think things like, “Was the real surprise the fact that she had an Ewok hiding between her legs?” 

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Sexy sex takes time–and waxing.

Still, my belief in the fantasy was strained when Jane is immediately inducted into the threesome with a vibrator shoved up her ass without any hint of consent or preparation; she’s just instantly ready, stretched wide, willing, and loving it. I suppose because the main characters are all Millennials, it’s to be expected that it’s perfectly OK to shove a vibrator up the back door without checking first. Like, what else are you doing with your spare time these days when you’re not fixing stripper clothing or cleaning houses? Of course! You’re getting your anus ready for rough sex and a huge penis!

One final nitpicky item: Jane licking a dick that is repeatedly pounding into an asshole sounds distastefully unhygienic. Even if she’s licking a condom (eww!), she’s still tasting shit. Perhaps Millennials have access to some kind of magical mouthwash that makes it all better.

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Best of the Rest: 3-volcanoes

I loved the dialogue. It was real and distinctive, although Wes and Max sometimes sounded too same-ish, distinguished mostly by the one that used bollocks to signify his English heritage. But Jane’s personality shone through clearly, quick witted and genuinely appealing as a person, and she embodied the best parts of the story. For example, her advice to a presidential candidate regarding a political stance on LGBQT relationships was, “Did you tell her she’d actually win the presidency if she embraced the rainbow?” I love it!

Still…are we reading erotica for the dialogue? I can say that the sex scenes were good but not memorable. There are hints of super-hot BDSM that ends up being only cliche (candles and hot wax, a ball gag, a whip–like, that’s it. Big deal. I have more things in my lap right now than just that.) This is the kind of flirtation with BDSM that would only shock Fabio.

Total Steam Factor: 3-volcanoes

I truly wanted to give this more stars, because it was the best erotica fiction I have read in ages. However, the grammar and mechanical issues kept sling-shotting me out of the story, leading to wandering off and forgetting all about it over and over again.